Having My Cake and Giving It Too

Birthdays usually mean elevated social capital — a flood of Facebook wall posts, phone calls from distant friends, and maybe even some surprise treats at the restaurant or office. In recent years I’ve tried to find ways to take advantage of this predictable spike in goodwill. This year I landed on a two-part birthday inspired by the food bank.

Part One: Volunteering

A couple of weeks before my birthday I brought a group of friends to volunteer at the SF-Marin Food Bank. This food bank serves the entirety of San Francisco in addition to Marin County — helping 225,000 people in all. That’s pretty staggering considering the population of San Francisco is about 825,000.

The food bank is actually quite a popular volunteering spot, so when 10 spaces opened up I immediately nabbed them. I’ve found that working at the food bank is a great way of spending time with friends. As a city dweller it seems like every hangout involves both spending money and consuming something — coffee, food, drinks. A food bank shift is active, free, and tasks like boxing oranges are simple enough that you can still easily hold a conversation.

During a recent volunteering shift, I truly understood the brilliance of my good friend Rachel’s startup Qinship, which uses volunteer events to help you meet new people.

Part Two: Giving

I wrote a short Facebook post the night before my birthday about the work of the SF-Marin Food Bank and pledged a dollar for each “Like” the post gets.

By the morning after my birthday, the post racked up 380 “Likes” and I happily swiped the plastic for $380. My friends Jenna Tregarthen and Bethany Woolman made their own donations, Justin Yang used his Google company match to give $200, while Jason Wang generously matched my own gift and rounded up to $400. Combined with a matching gift from Yahoo for my portion, the final amount came out to over $1400.

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Since the food bank is able to provide $6 worth of food for every donated dollar, the total impact of the Facebook post is $8500 worth of food for Bay Area households.

That’s a pretty good birthday in my book.

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This is Camilo. Look at how much he’s digging that strawberry. Wouldn’t you give $5 to see that kind of happiness in the world? Donate to the SF-Marin Food Bank.

Aspirational Ads

Recently I’ve found myself sharing quite a few aspirational commercials by large technology companies, so I thought I’d bundle them here. I especially appreciate the common thread of celebrating what others have achieved through creativity and tenacity.

Sony: Join Together

Microsoft: Heroic Women

Microsoft: Empowering

Apple: Mac’s 30th birthday

Lessons from breaking an NBA record

Kyle Korver just broke the NBA record for making 3-pointers in the most consecutive games. He told writer Charles Bethea that he attributes his feat to a martial arts idea:

"There’s a jiu-jitsu concept that was introduced to me this summer called the misogi. It comes from the idea that as we get older we take fewer risks, think more inside the box, get more careful, make more decisions based on fear. To combat this, once a year you do something that you’re not sure you can do. That’s the misogi.

He goes on to describe how his trainer’s challenge led to a surreal experience:

"He says, ‘Have you ever stand-up paddleboarded before?’ No. But I’m in. ‘How do you feel about paddleboarding from the Channel Islands to Santa Barbara? Twenty-five miles across open water?’ I’m in!

"So we practice seven or eight times. Then we took a boat to the islands in early September. Suddenly I found myself in the middle of the ocean, on a 13-foot board called the Big Easy. I was with two friends. We had packs. A boat followed us: Every few hours they’d throw us Gatorade, water, a Clif Bar. The first few hours, I kept falling. I had to paddle from my knees. Maybe six hours in, getting baked, this pod of dolphins comes flying in from nowhere. They’re under us, around us. It was magical. Out of a movie! I was like, ‘Yo! Come with us! We’re gonna make it!’ I started paddling really fast. Then, an hour later, this dorsal fin pokes out of the water near us. And it keeps going up and up and up. This thing was like two and a half feet tall, and it comes for us. It comes for us! I was like, ‘Is that a killer whale? It’s so big!’ But there are no killer whales in Santa Barbara.

"The guy in the boat jumped up and said, ‘That’s a mola mola.’

"I said, ‘Does it have teeth? We’re so scared.’

"We’re standing our boards with our paddles in our hands. Turned out it was a 2,000-pound fish.

"I could talk about this for a long time.

"The point is, as we’re paddleboarding … there wasn’t a tree, there wasn’t a corner, there weren’t mile markers. You had to break it down even smaller. Into the stroke. So I sat there and tried to perfect my stroke each time I pull. The angles of how I’m pulling the paddle back and going forward. How long I’m going. How I’m using my wrist. All these things. You try to make the stroke perfect. It took nine hours.

"My bones felt hungover for like two weeks. Training camp started and I thought I was in bad shape. But I recovered, and I think I’ve become more serious about my shot. My mechanics. My revolutions. The stroke.

"That’s what the misogi did.”

Full story on Grantland: Kyle Korver’s Big Night, and the Day on the Ocean That Made It Possible

What’s Important in Winning

I just watched Brooklyn Castle, a great documentary about the chess team at Intermediate School 318 in New York. More commonly called IS 318, more than 60% of its students live below the poverty line. It’s also the winningest school in the country. 

The documentary follows the team to the national tournament as the students try to secure another championship. Between all the winning was a younger student who lost his first five games before finally winning one. He’s elated, and while letting him celebrate his coach Elizabeth Vicary shared these wise words:

But it’s really important, really for anything in life — especially for chess, but for anything — is that you judge yourself based on things you were talking about: how long you take, how many creative ideas you come up with, how much you’re focused on the board. It’s really important that inside your head, you’re judging your performance on that — and not on how many points you get.

The documentary is available for viewing on the PBS website until November 6. Read more about IS 318 over at New York Times: At a Brooklyn School, the Cool Crowd Pushes the King Around.

The Complete List of Lifehacker Toothpaste Hacks

As a longtime Lifehacker reader I’ve come to believe that toothpaste is the answer to most problems in life, including saving pandas from extinction and solving the government shutdown. Today Lifehacker shared yet another toothpaste hack, so I suggested to Alan Henry that he should put a piece together. 

Well, Alan, here’s a quick and dirty list to get you started. I did a search for “toothpaste site:lifehacker.com” and clicked through the first ten pages of results. I had a strong urge to rub toothpaste on all my worldly possessions after putting this list together.

Cleaning

Repairs

Ailments

Utility

I Got My Friend to Wear Only Yahoo Shirts for a Month

At the end of July I walked into the office for what must been the eighth day in a row seeing my teammate Arun wear a Yahoo shirt. Being nosy I asked him how many he owned.

"20, maybe even 25."

Impressed, I threw out an idea of him wearing only Yahoo shirts for the entire month of August. A different one everyday.

"Deal," followed by the first of many fist bumps from him.

Turns out Arun’s five-year company anniversary was around the corner, so we decided to make an event out of it. I set up a quick tumblr, and Arun Wears Yahoo was off to the races. Day 1 was a humble iPhone picture of Arun sporting a Yahoo Weather shirt.

Over the next 31 days we took increasingly elaborate photographs. We started matching the shirts to relevant (or just interesting) locales on campus: some of my favorites were a speed painting of John Lennon purchased for charity by David Filo, secret bocce ball courts, and a series of baby hills between buildings F and G. Along with our daily set of pictures I also wrote short descriptions of the team or event the shirts represent.

We initially sent the blog to our internal chat list, and people said nice things and brought more shirts for Arun to wear. Around Day 25 the project was featured on our intranet, soon followed by a story on the front page of Yahoo Careers and mentions on various company social media channels. A fellow Yahoo wrote an incredibly nice blog post, our CMO Kathy Savitt called it “Yawesome” and Marissa gave a shoutout on Twitter:

Since then Arun has become a celebrity of sorts — and not just within the company. He was approached last weekend by a woman in Costco who had seen him “on the internet.” When volunteering at an Indian community event, he introduced himself and was met with, “Are you the Arun?”

Apart from the project resonating with people, what I love is:

  • Arun’s enthusiasm — you can’t beat that smile
  • Learning about different aspects of the company that I haven’t had a chance to interact with
  • Discovering nooks and crannies of the campus
  • Getting to practice photography on Arun’s very nice camera

Now that we’ve successfully completed the month of August, we are slowing down but will continue posting the remaining shirts (and whatever new shirts we receive). Head over to check out the blog when you have a few minutes: Arun Wears Yahoo.

Why a Cab Driver Spoke to Me in Middle English

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I’m in a cab zipping from Fort Mason to Japantown on a clear San Francisco Saturday morning, and the driver is speaking to me a mile a minute in a tongue on the edge of familiarity. My first instinct is that he’s speaking German — immediately followed by a feeling of shame that despite living in Berlin for a brief period, I couldn’t make out what he was saying. After a few seconds it clicked. He was speaking Middle English.

If you’re not familiar with Middle English, you might be imagining something that sounds like a Shakespearean play. Middle English was actually spoken before Shakespeare in the 12th to 15th century — and it’s not intelligible to most English speakers today.

In the next instant I recognized that he was reciting the prologue to Chaucer’s 14th century work, Canterbury Tales.

Stories

Some of my favorite memories growing up were listening to my mother tell stories about people she’d met. I was fascinated by their worlds filled with triumph, tragedy, kindness, betrayal. Even when I call home today she continues to tell stories of people old and new.

Not owning a car, I take a lot of cabs, Ubers, and Lyfts to get around the city. I’ve always made it a point to talk to the driver, and they often have interesting stories — though I never know if they’re talking to me because they are enjoying the banter or are simply being friendly to get a bigger tip.

On the way to a coworker’s birthday party one night, I learned that my driver published a piece in Foreign Affairs decades ago as a master’s student. Another, a young man who has only been in this country for a few years, has visited every state in the Union. A grizzly Midwest transplant ended every other sentence with a contemplative “dayummm.”

Then there was an older gentleman who could have retired but continues to drive part-time. From a banged up clipboard he proudly unraveled a laminated photocopy of an award that Yellow Cab gave him for outstanding service. He had left New Orleans as a teenager after seeing a beautiful Victorian house in a magazine and came to the City by the Bay to pursue that dream. He owns one today, though his wife passed away years ago.

The problem for me was this: How do I have more meaningful connections with people during a 10-minute transactional relationship?

The Question

Seconds before the cab driver let loose his barrage of Middle English verses, I asked a question I’ve come to pose to everyone I get a ride from.

What is something I’ll never forget about you?

For several weeks I had mulled over choosing something to ask drivers in order to get past the usual chitchat. Then I saw a tweet from Noah Kagan and knew I had found it.

I’ve gotten a range of responses to this question. The former MLB scout asked what others said, the guy who is “always smiling” laughed, and the raw food vegan turned the question around on me. What I love is how quickly we talk about what matters, not how long they’ve been driving for Uber or how cold the weather is that day. From the opener we often venture off to dashed dreams or hopeful futures.

As for the driver who reeled off Chaucer’s 800-year-old piece, we ended up talking about the funeral of my high school English teacher’s mother — also a teacher—at which a mourning audience full of her former students spontaneously and in unison erupted into a recitation of that very same poem. Though I’ve had many engaging conversations, not everyone I come across wants to play (“you’ll never forget the good service” or “just can’t think of anything”) but maybe the question is too high stakes for casual conversation. Being unforgettable is a pretty tall order.

Image credit: Jon Rawlinson

"The hype comes and goes. What remains is great art."

I came across this documentary short about Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, who I’ve had the pleasure of seeing in concert a couple of times in small venues. What I appreciate most in watching them blow up – they are the first duo in Billboard history to have their first two singles hit #1 – is that they perform the same way and have the same gratefulness for the crowd whether it’s in front of an audience of a few hundred or a sold-out stadium.

On being okay with the possibility of never making it as an artist:

There’s more frustration when you’re an up-and-coming rapper and you’re like, “Why isn’t this catching on? What can I do?” You’re constantly doing this math equation that you don’t know the answer to. And you don’t know if you’ll ever get it right. And you have to have faith that regardless of whether you get that math equation right and the world ends up knowing your name – or not – you’re going to be content with doing the math forever. Because you just love it.

On not sacrificing vision for short-term momentum:

I would rather spend two years and make something that’s going to stand the test of time and not remain on the hype blogs just for the sake of being relevant in the moment. This is going to come and go. The hype comes and goes. What remains is great art, and that’s what I’m interested in making.

Playing Chess with a Saints Receiver Taught Me to Compete

Football chess set by Rhonda Faye on Flickr

I walk into the fifth round of the national chess championship in Milwaukee and settle in front of a quiet opponent in a baseball cap and sweater. With the white pieces in front of me I open the game aggressively with a gambit, a strategy that gives up a small amount of material in the first few moves in exchange for momentum. However, within ten moves I am down a pawn while his defense looks rock solid.

The games at the national tournament can last up to four hours. Halfway through the time limit, I see a winning combination involving sacrificing two of my pieces in quick succession. Heart pounding, I try not to think about the certain loss if this doesn’t go as planned. I walk around the table to view the board from his side, come back, and deliver the first check. Pieces fly off the board. The players beside us stop playing to observe. Five moves later, my opponent set down his king.

When we left the tournament hall I found out that my opponent’s rating—a measure of playing strength—was well above mine. The game was easily the best of my young career and would give me confidence that I could hang with much more experienced players. My rating soared over the following few months.

A decade later

When I recently reflected on this decade-old game, I wondered, Where is he today?I dug up my old game notations book and did a quick search on the name and state I had scribbled down. I was blown away by what I found.

My opponent, Joe Morgan, won a state chess championship in his grade the next year. He went on to play football at a Big Ten school before transferring to a small college in Ohio. From there he became the first player from his school to be invited to the NFL Combine, but he was ultimately undrafted. Joe was eventually signed by the New Orleans Saints as a free agent in 2011. Then came an injury that put him on the reserve list.

When he finally got an opportunity in the 2012 season, Joe put up spectacular plays, including a 78-yard punt return in the preseason, an 80-yard catch-and-run from Drew Brees, and a defense-dodging touchdown against Tampa Bay.

Along the way he had plenty of doubters, including a commentator who said, “He’ll need to be pretty darn good to even sniff the practice squad with a Saints wide receiver lineup that’s as deep as it is.”

Ratings don’t matter

I often think back to that old game. If ratings were everything, chess players would simply pick up trophies in order and go home. This was probably the most important lesson I learned: ratings don’t matter. In fact, it was our team policy to not look at opponent ratings until after the game. If you’re rated lower, you might psych yourself out before the first move. If higher, you might underestimate your opponent.

Had Joe listened to the signals that formed his football “rating”—small college, undrafted, pundits, injury—he might have gone away quietly. Reading about his successes reminded me that you should always compete if you’re in range. As the new season starts up, I’ll be rooting for Joe. He unintentionally inspired me years ago, and he continues to inspire me to compete today.

Image credit: Rhonda Faye

Happiness Pillars: When to shake things up

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Recently a friend shared with me that he was thinking about getting back together with his ex. It was probably obvious to the casual observer that it was a bad idea, but instead of talking him out of it I gave him my blessing as a friend.

Am I just a terrible friend? Let’s be clear — I would not have bet that it was going to end well (and it didn’t). But I did ask him an important question:

How is everything else going in your life?

We talked about his family, whether he felt healthy, and how he felt his career is going. Everything was going swimmingly.

These are his happiness pillars: those handful of aspects of your life that you care deeply about. The list isn’t the same for everyone, but some common things might be family, friends, romantic relationships, health, grades, career, impact, personal growth. These things keep you up at night and get you up in the morning. Together they make you feel alive and fulfilled.

For me, precisely when everything is settling is the time to stir things up. For my friend, his family and friends would be able to support him if the adventure turns out poorly, and he wouldn’t be stressed about things like work not going well. Having the other happiness pillars in place meant that he could afford to take risks for step function improvements in his life.

Over the years when things have aligned I’ve had the privilege to go out and do something I feared, experiment with ways to change how I eat, and look for new ways of connecting with people. Sometimes these plans turned into more work than worthwhile, sometimes they went nowhere, but often times they broaden my horizons and change my perspective.

So, is everything going well in your life? If the answer is yes, you may want to pursue that thing that seemed risky or makes you uncomfortable. Here are some ideas:

  • Fast for a day.
  • Leave your phone at home or turn your smartphone dumb.
  • If you play an instrument or sing, book a performance at a local venue or in your home.
  • For a week, be completely honest or ask for what you want.
  • Call or get coffee with a friend or family member who you had a strained relationship with.
  • Audition for a play and do it if you get the part.
  • Commit to a longer term volunteering project, rather than simply participate in an one-off activity.
  • Ask to help out on a project in a different department at work.
  • Buy a plane ticket somewhere new but don’t plan anything—not even where you’re going to stay.

Happy exploring — and let me know if you end up trying something new.

Image credit: Orin Zebest

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